The King and I at 30: Or why it sucks to be the same age as LeBron

The King and I at 30
Or why it sucks to be the same age as LeBron


Achievement is a funny thing. To feel like you’ve achieved something is totally and utterly subjective and often has to do with you comparing yourself to other people. For my parents who were both first generation college grads who grew up in poverty just completing college was achievement enough. For me that was just the baseline. When I was asked in gradeschool and asked “where do you see yourself as an adult” I always assumed it was about 30 and that I’d have a house and a job. I guess this was because my dad had a house and job her would end up retiring in by 30. That would mean I was accomplished

LeBron man, he’s accomplished a lot. You see him up there with rings, the millions of dollars and all the acclaim. People throw parades for him, pay thousands of dollars to see him, and freaking buy clothes with his name on it. He pulled himself out of poverty. As the years has past comparing all this to myself, man, it can get overwhelming. I freaking have debt, drive a 1996 corolla, live in a renter house, and am planning my third move in 3 years. I feel unaccomplished.

 Despite these feelings, I have always felt a kinship with LeBron even though I’ve never even seen him play in person. Perhaps it was watching him on magazine covers and on ESPN while he and I were in highschool. Possibly it was we both looked like goofy, tall, lanky dudes in highschool. Maybe it’s because he seemed so laid back. Perhaps it’s because we shared an OB for the births of a child.

Truth be told, I feel that kinship with the dude I’ve never met likely because of the scrutiny and pressure to succeed that was always on him. Every time a microphone was thrust in his face, he was scrutinized for passing it to some inferior teammate in the last second (holla Donyell!), or was told he was “too soft” or “didn’t want it enough”, I cringed a little. It just never seemed like he could do enough for anyone. Score the last 28 points in a playoff game, win MVPs, win rings, play every minute possible, be the best player in the world, it just never seemed like enough for the critics, for those outside of him, for the rest of the world. In someways basketball chose him and he had to live up to it.

Thinking about it now, in that way LeBron and I differ and it’s probably a good thing. Yeah, I had a lot of pressure to be a good student but my friends and family was always just: “get a good job man” “be able to feed your family” “just be yourself.” My pressure and criticism was, and is, internal. I put it on myself. Sometimes my wife wonders why unaccomplished. There’s no one asking me everyday what’s wrong, why I’m not better, why I can’t fix everything. If I had someone shove a mic in me after every therapy session asking why the dudes depression hadn’t alleviated or his A1C levels didn’t go down it would get old fast, it would suck, I would be a different person. Heck, it took me the first two years of gradschool to explain to my parents I was getting a PhD. LeBron was expected to end up better than Jordan before he was 19.

I already feel old at thirty so maybe it’s not too bad to be unaccomplished and at the start of my career. I get to just enjoy things, cruise along, spend time with my kids and work towards my goal. LeBron has miles on his body and is starting to see the otherside of the hill. People are starting to ask when it’s all going to end for him and make determinations about his legacy. HE’S THIRTY YEARS OLD.

So as I’m watching in person for the first time LeBron sprint up and down the court tonight doing inhuman things and likely pounding my poor Jazz into oblivion at least I know we’re both 30 today and while we’ve grown up together at least the world is giving me space to do a lot more growing. Thanks LeBron. Yeah it sucks to feel unaccomplished next to you but at least I feel younger now. And I have all my hair, so there.

-Joseph Horner is a Chinese-Caucasian Clinical Psychology Fellow and Utah Jazz fan from Idaho who lives in Cleveland. No really. Also former resident of OKC, Utah, and Philly. He considers it divine providence that the Jazz are here on his 30th birthday.

Twitter: @josephhorner